My post about First Matter on February 20 identified what I believe are the types of experiences that lead to the creation of the Stone. There is still a long way to go. There are important questions to consider. Like:

How do we distill these experiences and retrieve something significant and meaningful from them?

Are our thoughts, feelings, experiences of the material world the essence of the Stone?

Are we a necessary part of the alchemical laboratory? Could its wondrous results happen without us?

What is the common experience that can be preserved from all of these experiences?

Is this experience common to people across time and cultures?

Just what is this “First Matter” of the alchemists? It’s a very important question that we must ask ourselves over and over.

It has many names because its expression in our material world is endless; it is not a thing we can pick up and measure but an experience we often realize and then discard. It is the face of your new born baby for the first time, the loving sexual experience you have imagined as the ultimate, being surprised by opening the Christmas gift you have always wanted, the absolute, wonderful, terrifying experience of doing something brave and foolish, the feeling of truly letting go – of everything, turning your life over to your next experience, a musical note that reminds you of all that is good about this life, a puppy looking you directly in the eye with happiness and trust, the experience of a star filled night sky and what that means, someone else experiencing the achievement of a lifelong effort, your horse winning the race after stumbling out of the starting gate, experiencing love returned for love given, the taste of a strawberry that is more sweet and more intense than you’ve ever imagined, seeing your family together and completely content. The question to consider and answer is why do we discard this experience? Why do we let it go without savoring and understanding it; without making it a forever part of ourselves in the moment it occurs? Could it be that our spiritual, mental and physical bodies are not able to hold it? If so, could it be that each time we experience this Prima Materia it is an opportunity to stretch so far that we leave a space within us to save and nuture a part of this wonder?

During the last six months, I’ve been immersed in a powerful period of Fermentation. It’s lasted longer than other periods of time, been much more intense than before, affected nearly all areas of my life and consumed my waking and sleeping moments. It’s even affected time, at least as I experience it. Emerging from this alchemical phase, it feels as if it lasted weeks instead of months.

Embracing the core parts of me is the most important step I can take now and communicating with others is one of them. So resuming this blog feels like a natural thing to do. I’ll pick up the threads of my posts from the spring of this year in each category, especially the Azoth and Igniting Transformation. First, though, I want to share my experiences during Fermentation because it is a straightforward way to talk about this phase of alchemy and personal examples often bring clarity to a complex topic.

I’ll do this in the next handful of posts. The first will explore Fermentation and the elements of this fifth phase of the alchemical process. The next several will include my most significant experiences of this period. The final one will be about embracing – the signature behavior of this phase.

As Jack Nicholson’s character in The Shining claimed: “I’mmm backkkkk.”

I want this thread of posts, and your comments, to focus on transformation and transmutation that are the energy engines of alchemy. We won’t get there until we have an agreed upon understanding of how we are using these terms and other similar ones. So, let’s look first at the other related terms from our list: convert, transfigure, metamorphose and transmogrify.

The first, convert, is probably the most straightforward. The concept, however, does not include the type of change that transform or transmute do. To convert some object is to use it in some other way. The core nature of the object itself remains unchanged.

Transfigure identifies a type of change with a very specific result – an exalting or glorification of what has changed. Any of the forms of change we are considering could have this result.

The definition of metamorphose is interesting because the focus is on the cause of the change and implies it must be surprising, unexpected and created by a magical or supernatural force we do not understand. A common example of metamorphosis is the abrupt developmental change in the form of a caterpillar as it becomes a butterfly.

While transmogrify is not limited to a type or feature of metamorphism, it does identify a change that has a grotesque or humorous result such as the frog that morphs into a prince.

Where does our brief exploration of these four types of changes leave us? I believe it informs us that none of them capture the essence of the nature of change that lies at the center of alchemy. While the change we will consider in future posts may involve converting parts of ourselves to use in different ways and some of these changes may transfigure us, they do not go to the heart of transformation or transmutation. Neither does transmogrify although grotesque and humorous changes have occurred in the alchemist’s laboratory. The nature of metamorphism has something to tells us about the process of transformation and transmutation.

I’ll explore that in my next post.

This question or its Sister question: “Am I transforming or transmuting?” is always present in my consciousness. I believe it is also forever present in our lives.

As an alchemist, my goal is to transmute first myself and then an element I’m working with from one of the three realms:  spiritual, mental, or physical. Alchemy is about transmutation – changing the nature of material in one of these realms into a higher form, into something new and completely different. Transformation is related to transmutation but it’s about creating a major change in an element without changing its nature.

So, why is my blog titled: Living an Alchemical Life: the Alchemy of Transformation? It was intentionally chosen to focus my posts and resulting comments or dialogue on the initial steps of transmutation because that is what I believe transformation is – the first steps.

Have questions? Confused? Look at this from Meriam-Webster online dictionary site for “transform” that you can explore here:

Synonym Discussion of transform:

Transform, metamorphose, transmute, convert, transmogrify, transfigure mean to change a thing into a different thing.

Transform implies a major change in form, nature, or function <transformed a small company into a corporate giant>.

Metamorphose suggests an abrupt or startling change induced by or as if by magic or a supernatural power <awkward girls metamorphosed into graceful ballerinas>.

Transmute implies transforming into a higher element or thing <attempted to transmute lead into gold>.

Convert implies a change fitting something for a new or different use or function <converted the study into a nursery>.

Transmogrify suggests a strange or preposterous metamorphosis <a story in which a frog is transmogrified into a prince>.

Transfigure implies a change that exalts or glorifies <joy transfigured her face>.

Still confused? Still have questions? Come back over the next several weeks and explore this issue with me and others because it lies at the heart of your personal transformation.

I’ve thought more about my recent post – The Rules (Oct 28) – and the relationship of rules to responsibility. While the two concepts can be viewed as intimately connected, doesn’t it seem that the more responsibility there is in us, the less need there is for rules?

What’s this got to do with alchemy?

Whether or not you see being responsible as related to following rules,  responsibility is related to two very powerful feelings that we, and particularly alchemists, must come to terms with on a conscious level when inviting transformation into our lives. They are a sense of self worth and the ability to experience and cope with our fears.

I’ve created an alchemical decree that helps me keep these feelings alive and present in my life and I want to share it with you:

I understand the fears I experience

Are created by me,

And now I see them

As challenges

And opportunities for learning.

I am a worthy person

And deserve all the

Support, love and abundance

The Universe gives me every day.

I am capable of fulfilling

The responsibility that comes

With accepting my worthiness

And living beyond my fears.

Among the collection of notes on our refrigerator door is one of my favorite sayings: Life is the only game in which the object of the game is to learn the rules. It’s a card my wife brought with her when we began our life together. I smile every time I notice these words for they are a signpost keeping me on the true path along my journey of discovering the purpose of my life.

The words came to me again from an unexpected source yesterday – a message from a loved one who is facing a serious health challenge and who has placed herself in the hands of the God for whom she has a deep and abiding faith. She noticed the note some time ago but had said nothing about it until now. And what she said was: “That’s a cute quip, but the truth is we have a rule book that we are suppose to be following.  When we stand to give an answer for our lives God is going to hold us accountable to those rules!” For the first time in all the times I’ve read that note, its resonance with my belief about the nature of alchemy shined through its words.

Alchemy is a personal perspective that sees our world and everything in it as a gift. This view calls forth a natural and compelling desire to explore how the world works. If the rules of nature can be discovered, they can be used to find treasures – wondrous and beneficial things – to heal, to provide the basic necessities for all, to enjoy full and long lives. This is a difficult path because it includes powerful temptations to find or make just what we want for ourselves. The treasures to be found on this path can also lead to unexpected results. A safer path is a more restricted one with a book of rules everyone needs to follow, one created by those who know how to avoid the unexpected.

Now, I’m not proposing that alchemy is the only practice or way of life that people can fulfill themselves in or solve some of the world’s problems. Yet, alchemy is a way of life that demands personal responsibility. The ticket for entrance into the Art is stamped with the message:

Discover the rules to make the world what you can imagine it to be and follow them.

Today is the last day of the first cycle of alchemical operations I’ve initiated – Ignite (Calcination). This cycle began with igniting a transformation in my life by answering the question: What am I afraid of? with an Alchemical Decree that I am abandoning myself to the messages I (we) receive from the Universe, actually the Cosmos – or the Living Source of all things.

The first 18 days (Mar 21 – Apr 7) of this month long period, were focused on very specific experiences and messages, some of which are recounted in my posts during this period. The last 13 days, from Apr 8 – 13 while Nancy and I were in Florida and Apr 14 – 20 while back at home and experiencing the death of her mother and the decline of mine, were a more general experience. During this last 13 day period, the message from the Cosmos seemed to be the experience itself rather than a concrete and specific communication. I even stated that I felt my connection to the Source of messages while in Florida seemed to be cut off or overridden. The same feels true for the last week.

However, I now realize that the specific messages received earlier during this month long process were the same as the overall message received during the latter period. In other words, the excitement and discovery of being in Florida and discovering this was a place we wanted to live as well as being part of the personal dying process of our mothers were part of the every present, ongoing communication from the Cosmos. The message was simply delivered in a different way.

I’m left with the sense that my transformation is a continual process happening not only within me but as part of my entire life.

Meisha was our waitress at the Lazy Flamingo restaurant in Florida. And, she was also a messenger from the Universe.

Nancy had stepped away from our table to take a call when Meisha approached to ask if we needed anything. But the interaction felt different than the usual waitress-customer encounter so I initiated a conversation with her. She responded and engaged me in a dialogue for more than 15 minutes while other customers waited for her attention. The space-time continuum felt very different.

During this time, she shared personal information about herself: she had come to Florida from Maine because she wanted to go on an adventure, she was planning to leave for California before the end of the year to pursue her goal of becoming a photographer, and she was an online student working towards a degree in photography. When she told me she was not entirely sure she could accomplish all this, I felt compelled to tell her about my experience with my daughter who, at the time, wanted to become a researcher in marine biology. Vanessa was uncertain and overwhelmed about pursuing this career so I encouraged her to expand her network of people to get more information. I also told her to find a person who had the job she wanted and contact them to talk about what it was like and how to get a similar one. “Just call up a stranger, say hello, and ask about her job?” was Vanessa’s incredulous reply. “Yes, people who love their jobs love to talk about them.” Eventually, Vanessa took this step, talked with an executive director in a federal agency in Washington DC who agreed to be her mentor.

Meisha could see the possibilities, thanked me for the story and returned to her role as a waitress. However, I was not ready yet to become just a customer again. Following my intuition, I pulled two dollar bills from my pocket and wrote her a note that said:

“These two dollar bills represent the networking that happens between two or more people and are a reminder for you to pursue your goal by networking as well as obtaining your degree. Please email me at the following address when you have your first photography job or exhibition.”

She looked into my eyes and nodded.

While my intent was to support Meisha realizing her vision, I later realized I was also looking for support from her. If she writes me in the future, she would confirm my belief that the Universe uses us as messengers for one another and we are always receiving messages this way. I feel now that I put a message in a bottle and tossed it into the waves of the Universe believing that one day I will find it again with a note from Meisha.